8 Steps to Self-Forgiveness

In our journey to inner peace and healing, both guilt and forgiveness of self and others have a profound effect on this process.

Guilt is defined as a feeling of culpability especially for imagined offences or from a sense of inadequacy; a self-reproach; and forgiveness as the act of forgiving or the ceasing of feeling resentment against an offender. 

Guilt and lack of forgiveness of self and others burdens many people with the heavy weight of inappropriate shame and the destruction of deep-seated resentments.  

In recent years, much has been written about the destructiveness of repressed emotions and particularly anger and resentment in contributing to life-threatening illnesses. 

The belief that feeling any emotions means we are weak is a dreadful legacy to burden people with.  Teaching people that strength means not feeling or denying our feelings is tantamount to creating illness.  Beliefs such as ‘big boys don’t cry’ and ‘good girls don’t get angry’ has resulted in men and women who are unable to get in touch with what they actually feel.  Depression is thought to be caused by anger turned inward and is only one of the symptoms of the need to protect ourselves from the scorn associated with expressing feelings.  Many other illnesses and particularly the addictions are theorized to be expressions of a deep level of emotional pain. 

Why won’t we forgive? 

I believe it starts from our unwillingness to forgive ourselves.  We believe that we are undeserving of love, respect, acceptance, appreciation, and the right to live a life where we walk in peace, joy, harmony, and abundance.  Somewhere along the line, we started to believe that all the rules and regulations of the society in which we live defined who we were supposed to be.  We stopped trusting and believing in our own inherent worth and came to believe that we were ‘not good enough.’  Messages such as ‘you failed,’ or ‘you should’ became a litany for us to abuse ourselves with guilt.  I call it abuse because it is just as painful when we do it to ourselves as when others do it to us.  We became judge and jury and found ourselves guilty of our perceived offences.  When the primary caregivers such as parents, teachers, and other societal influences are unable to love themselves unconditionally, this ‘learned attitude’ is passed on to the next generation as shame to control behavior.   

This sense of shame differs from guilt in that guilt is about behavior.  Shame is deeper and more pervasive.  It is about your being and feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, being bad and unlovable become the conviction underlying your life.  Children grow up believing they are ‘not good enough’ and become the caregivers for the next generation.  And so, it goes, on and on.  I am not blaming the parents and caregivers here as we parent the way we were parented.  My own definition of maturity is that maturity is achieved when we can forgive our parents and other significant adults for being human. 

What Is Self-forgiveness? 

Self-forgiveness is the willingness to believe that you are worthy, that there are no mistakes rather, you are on the planet, or in Earth School (as some people call it) to learn about being human.  The opportunities to learn are just that – not mistakes – just opportunities to learn. 

Practical Steps to Self-forgiveness

1.  Examine how you perceived a certain situation and how you can chose to change your perception. Remember that the thoughts we think create the feelings, and it is our perception that creates our interpretations of the situation. 

2.  Accept yourself and your humanness – you are not supposed to be perfect. 

3.  Admit when you make a mistake. 

4.  Remember that everybody is doing the best they can with what they know, and that includes you. 

5.  Let go of past-future thinking, stay in the ‘Now.’ 

6.  Confront your emotional pain – own your own ‘stuff.’ 

7.  Appreciate the lessons that have contributed to your growth and made you who you are now. 

8.  Say ‘I forgive myself for ____________ (whatever).’ 

Mystic Pam Jackson

Keywords: 

forgiveness, guilt, shame, resentment, repressed emotions 

5 Ways to Develop Your Intuition

Intuition is a tool that we all possess! Some believe it to be a mystical power. Others argue that it’s simply our subconscious trying to communicate with us. We all have that little voice that tries to tell us things from time to time, regardless of the source.

We often learn to ignore that little voice as we get older. We rely on logic and try to be practical. But we’ve learned a lot over the years, and there’s a part of our brain that has amassed a vast amount of knowledge. Listening to that little voice can be beneficial.

Try these techniques to develop your intuition:

1.      Meditate for a few minutes each day. One characteristic of intuition is that it has a soft voice most of the time. It can be challenging to notice it if our minds are busy with other things. Meditation is a great way to clear the mind and make room for our intuition to come shining through.

•        A simple technique to clear your mind is to simply count your breaths and attempt to stay focused on your breathing. Avoid letting your mind wander.

2.      Record your dreams. Our dreams can be full of useful information. Many psychologists believe that we work out our challenges in our sleep. It’s difficult for most of us to remember our dreams. Studies show that we average 5 dreams per night, and most of us are lucky to even remember one.

•        After you get in bed, tell yourself that you want to remember your dreams in the morning. Keep thinking this to yourself until you fall asleep.

•        Keep a notebook and pen near your bed. A voice recorder app on your phone can work well, too. As soon as you wake up, start writing. Dreams tend to fade from memory quickly.

•        Review your dreams and see if there might be any information you can use in your life.

3.      Follow your intuition. The surest way to shut down your intuition is to never follow it. Start using it in situations that have minor importance. It could be as simple as taking a walk and asking yourself which way you should turn at each intersection or fork in the road. 

•        Show your intuition that you’re listening and responding. You’ll be more likely to hear from it in the future.

4.      Busy your mind. Many people find that their best ideas come while their mind is busy, but not too busy. Some examples commonly cited include, walking, driving down the highway, taking a shower, and listening to the rain. Think about the times you’ve had great ideas. Try to put yourself in similar situations more frequently.

5.      Keep a journal. Take a few minutes each day to write in a journal. Sometimes, putting things down on paper opens a floodgate of ideas and inspiration. Study what you’ve written. You’re likely to find insights you haven’t considered.

•        Keep your journals in a safe place, so you’ll feel more comfortable with being honest and thorough.

Being in touch with your intuition can assist you in identifying and resolving stressful situations in your life. It also allows you to use your imagination and creativity. Your intuition is a valuable resource, but it must be nurtured. Begin with the simplest tasks. When your intuition has proven to be trustworthy, use it to make larger decisions.

Intuition connects us to our subconscious. It is the ultimate source of wisdom and creative energy for you. Utilize all of your resources to make life easier and richer.

Mystic Pam Jackson

Creating Spiritual Wealth

Everyone could make wealth, but the problem often is that a person is too preoccupied with negativity that the eye fails to see. The following are limited belief systems that are firmly established in the human psyche that blinds the eye hindering the possibility of creating wealth.

  • The creation of wealth is directly proportional to the amount of hard work that a person is willing to take.

At the start yes, there is no substitute for that. After all, the person that desires to create more wealth will have to conceptualize, experiment, study and will, on many occasions be willing to make mistakes to learn more. Once the hard part is over, (for the most part it takes only a while) the person could hire hands to do the working for him. There is no one person on earth who is a depository of all knowledge after all. When that happens all that the entrepreneur must do is provide directions based on lessons learned.

  • To amass wealth, you must be in the right business.

But truly, what is right business and what is not? This principle drives people crazy. When the internet café for example was just starting, everyone scrambled to dip their fingers to have one. Instead, start a business from things that you love most doing. The interest will be sustained that will be needed when encountering rough times. Even when a craze is started because of that, no one will do it better than the person who started it.

  • You cannot start a business without enough capital.

Again, what is enough capital? There are businesses, lots of them that started from nothing. Capital is needed whenever available but when the idea is there, the enthusiasm and the energy is capital enough. No successful businessman today started with large capital. In fact most of them started with almost nothing.

  • The idea has to be right.

Agreed, but if someone keeps on looking for it, a good idea will start somehow somewhere. The best person to be looking for ideas is the self. The things that the person loved doing or the make believe that the person enjoys when still a child is enough material for an idea.

  • Education is needed to start a business.

Wrong. Education is needed when seeking employment. When starting a business, goodwill is good enough. All successful businessmen for the last two hundred years were dropouts, have little education, or are simple sturdy people who refused to be satisfied with whatever chance and fortune came their way.

  • I am too old – is again another fallacy.

Many businesses have been established and made successful from retirement money. When there is the desire to succeed, success it will be.

More than any of these, there should be a desire to do well. Successful businesses that lasted are anchored on that. It is the desire to make a change for the better. To spot a need and to fill that need is easy; to create wealth from filling the need is easier too.

Pam has been an enterpurneur for many years and comes from a long line of self employeed family members. If you are ready to remove your limiting beliefs, limiting thought forms and start creating change in your divine life and in your spiritual wealth. Contact Pam for a Free consultation to discuss the opportunities she has created with you in mind.