8 Steps to Self-Forgiveness

In our journey to inner peace and healing, both guilt and forgiveness of self and others have a profound effect on this process.

Guilt is defined as a feeling of culpability especially for imagined offences or from a sense of inadequacy; a self-reproach; and forgiveness as the act of forgiving or the ceasing of feeling resentment against an offender. 

Guilt and lack of forgiveness of self and others burdens many people with the heavy weight of inappropriate shame and the destruction of deep-seated resentments.  

In recent years, much has been written about the destructiveness of repressed emotions and particularly anger and resentment in contributing to life-threatening illnesses. 

The belief that feeling any emotions means we are weak is a dreadful legacy to burden people with.  Teaching people that strength means not feeling or denying our feelings is tantamount to creating illness.  Beliefs such as ‘big boys don’t cry’ and ‘good girls don’t get angry’ has resulted in men and women who are unable to get in touch with what they actually feel.  Depression is thought to be caused by anger turned inward and is only one of the symptoms of the need to protect ourselves from the scorn associated with expressing feelings.  Many other illnesses and particularly the addictions are theorized to be expressions of a deep level of emotional pain. 

Why won’t we forgive? 

I believe it starts from our unwillingness to forgive ourselves.  We believe that we are undeserving of love, respect, acceptance, appreciation, and the right to live a life where we walk in peace, joy, harmony, and abundance.  Somewhere along the line, we started to believe that all the rules and regulations of the society in which we live defined who we were supposed to be.  We stopped trusting and believing in our own inherent worth and came to believe that we were ‘not good enough.’  Messages such as ‘you failed,’ or ‘you should’ became a litany for us to abuse ourselves with guilt.  I call it abuse because it is just as painful when we do it to ourselves as when others do it to us.  We became judge and jury and found ourselves guilty of our perceived offences.  When the primary caregivers such as parents, teachers, and other societal influences are unable to love themselves unconditionally, this ‘learned attitude’ is passed on to the next generation as shame to control behavior.   

This sense of shame differs from guilt in that guilt is about behavior.  Shame is deeper and more pervasive.  It is about your being and feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, being bad and unlovable become the conviction underlying your life.  Children grow up believing they are ‘not good enough’ and become the caregivers for the next generation.  And so, it goes, on and on.  I am not blaming the parents and caregivers here as we parent the way we were parented.  My own definition of maturity is that maturity is achieved when we can forgive our parents and other significant adults for being human. 

What Is Self-forgiveness? 

Self-forgiveness is the willingness to believe that you are worthy, that there are no mistakes rather, you are on the planet, or in Earth School (as some people call it) to learn about being human.  The opportunities to learn are just that – not mistakes – just opportunities to learn. 

Practical Steps to Self-forgiveness

1.  Examine how you perceived a certain situation and how you can chose to change your perception. Remember that the thoughts we think create the feelings, and it is our perception that creates our interpretations of the situation. 

2.  Accept yourself and your humanness – you are not supposed to be perfect. 

3.  Admit when you make a mistake. 

4.  Remember that everybody is doing the best they can with what they know, and that includes you. 

5.  Let go of past-future thinking, stay in the ‘Now.’ 

6.  Confront your emotional pain – own your own ‘stuff.’ 

7.  Appreciate the lessons that have contributed to your growth and made you who you are now. 

8.  Say ‘I forgive myself for ____________ (whatever).’ 

Mystic Pam Jackson

Keywords: 

forgiveness, guilt, shame, resentment, repressed emotions 

It’s only a reflection?

Have you heard that everyone and everything is a mirror or a reflection for you?

I know that my teachers would tell me this when I first started my own healing journey but what does that mean? What do I do with this? I have questioned this belief many times. I just could not get it or understand it. To me this felt like avoidance of others not taking responsibility for their words or actions and that can still be true.

I have learned to keep asking questions until I get a download or clarity and that is exactly what I have done with this statement. Finally I got an answer and I have already put it into practice and let me tell you this works like magic!

Let’s say that you may find yourself in an argument, disagreement or being triggered emotional by another person. When you step away from this situation you will ask yourself a question. Now after you ask yourself this question I want you to notice what you notice, what did you hear in response? Instantly when you know, when you hear the response the energy shifts! All the walls, the anger, the tears – it all shifts just like magic.

It’s amazing! Okay, here it is! Are you ready?

The magic question you ask yourself when you are triggered is….

WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO SHOW ME ABOUT ME THAT I CAN NOT SEE?

I am sharing this with you because I want you to use this to help you move past those triggers and lessons and gain the wisdom of what you are actually trying to learn, heal or resolve. It really does work like magic!

What could you hear? You may hear that you don’t love yourself enough or that you don’t think you are worthy or anything along those lines. What do you do now?

I found you don’t have to do anything once you hear the truth whether it’s from creator or your higher self. Maybe it shifts because we become aware or conscious of what we are hiding from ourselves. So far, I have seen that it just shifts without any special program or process.

It all just shifts on its own just like magic!

Would you like to learn more about me and my services? I offer a free online forum and energy healing groups on my website. You can join for free and as I continue to add content you will be the first to be apart of my growing website. ~Mystic Pam Jackson

http://www.mysticpamjackson.com

It’s only a reflection?

Have you heard that everyone and everything is a mirror or a reflection for you?

I know that my teachers would tell me this when I first started my own healing journey but what does that mean? What do I do with this? I have questioned this belief many times. I just could not get it or understand it. To me this felt like avoidance of others not taking responsibility for their words or actions and that can still be true.

I have learned to keep asking questions until I get a download or clarity and that is exactly what I have done with this statement. Finally I got an answer and I have already put it into practice and let me tell you this works like magic!

Let’s say that you may find yourself in an argument, disagreement or being triggered emotional by another person. When you step away from this situation you will ask yourself a question. Now after you ask yourself this question I want you to notice what you notice, what did you hear in response? Instantly when you know, when you hear the response the energy shifts! All the walls, the anger, the tears – it all shifts just like magic.

It’s amazing! Okay, here it is! Are you ready?

The magic question you ask yourself when you are triggered is….

WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO SHOW ME ABOUT ME THAT I CAN NOT SEE?

I am sharing this with you because I want you to use this to help you move past those triggers and lessons and gain the wisdom of what you are actually trying to learn, heal or resolve. It really does work like magic!

What could you hear? You may hear that you don’t love yourself enough or that you don’t think you are worthy or anything along those lines. What do you do now?

I found you don’t have to do anything once you hear the truth whether it’s from creator or your higher self. Maybe it shifts because we become aware or conscious of what we are hiding from ourselves. So far, I have seen that it just shifts without any special program or process.

It all just shifts on its own just like magic!

Would you like to learn more about me and my services? I offer a free online forum and energy healing groups on my website. You can join for free and as I continue to add content you will be the first to be apart of my growing website. ~Mystic Pam Jackson

http://www.mysticpamjackson.com

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